It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give. (M13.2)
No one can look upon the fear of God unterrified, unless he has accepted the Atonement and learned illusions are not real. (T19.D.i.9)
You will perceive with the great deceiver and participate in the great deception, or you will learn to perceive with the Great Transformer of Perception and participate in the Great Awakening. You have taught yourself to do one. To achieve the other will take great willingness and vigilance. You must examine every thought you have and every belief you hold dear.
The ego is a cruel, vicious, and tenacious tyrant whose grip on your mind and therefore your perception is vice like. It will not give up without a war and it will use all the power you have given it to stay in control. The struggle with addiction in this world is a reflection of the struggle you will have as you work with the Holy Spirit to move towards freedom, learning to think with Him.
Just as the process of gaining sobriety is intense; the breaking out of denial, the detoxing, the daily struggle not to fall back into the addictive thinking that leads to the addictive behavior, the self-examination and the taking of responsibility, the process of gaining sobriety from ego thinking is intense. You will be challenging the ego thought system which you think is your own. At times it will feel to you as if the death of that thought system is your own. You will be confronted by layers and layers of dissociation and denial that will have you questioning your sanity. The ego has arsenals of fear inducing defense mechanisms to trick and deceive you into staying in your self-made perceptual prison. This leg of the journey is for those ready to surrender totally to the Holy Spirit and to walk through fear into the light of remembrance to save the world. No more, no less.